I was one of the lucky ones – my parents moved back to Sudan firmly deciding that their children needed to be able to really live in the country, and we did. Don’t expect to return and be engulfed in sweet homecoming. Quite frankly when you first return, it’s going to feel like a lot of things stink. Don’t romanticize Sudan, and at the same time, don’t trash it. My favorite quote about my country is “Sudan, I love you, but I hate what you are.” It’s a beautiful, bittersweet country. Love it, and it will love you. (And by the way – don’t ever feel that the fact that you’ve lived ‘outside of Sudan’ makes you un-Sudanese, or that you have to choose between two countries or identities, because people will tell you that, and you will feel that way. I’m halabiya, my English is better than my Arabic, and I’m also “Amrikiya”. I learnt that your identity is exactly what you want it to be. If you love Sudan and you want to be a part of it – it’s that simple! Read “In the Name of identity” if you have time.)
Funnily enough I am also at SOAS but more importantly, I very much agreed with your post. I feel I am only getting to know Sudan how my mum wants me to and I do need to do some exploring for myself because it will become a game of Chinese Whispers if I have children, what they know of Sudan is what was passed on from my mother to me and it will end up being diluted till they know nothing at all.