Love Beyond Borders

Each year on 14 February, the world celebrates love. Although Valentine’s Day is one of the most celebrated holiday in the world, it’s not a public holiday anywhere. However, millions of people exchange cards, candy, gifts or flowers with their special ‘valentine’.

What many people do not know is the day of romance we call Valentine’s Day (Saint Valentine’s Day or the Feast of Saint Valentine) originates from Christianity, specifically from ancient Rome. The Catholic Church recognises at least two different saints named Valentine or Valentinus, both of whom were martyred. Their martyrdom was honoured by the Catholic Church with the celebration of St Valentine’s Day.

One story suggests that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men. Realising the unjust law, Valentine defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine’s actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death. Other stories suggest that Valentine may have been killed for attempting to help Christians escape harsh Roman prisons, where they were often beaten and tortured.

Ironically, most of the stories about the history of Valentine’s Day are dark. Well, love can be tragic. In July 2018, Sudanese social media users were in distress when news broke out on social media of the death of Qatar-based Sudanese bodybuilder and bodybuilding champion Mohammed Abdullatif, who was also known as Mohammed Koroghly. At first, rumours spread claiming he lost his life in a car accident. Sooner after, the truth surfaced with his immediate family members claiming he was allegedly killed by his brother-in-law by a gunshot wound to the chest. However, due to the lack of media coverage, the details are still unknown. However, Abdullatif’s family believed he was reportedly killed because his brother-in-law was unhappy with the marriage – Abdulatif, a Sudanese man married to a Qatari woman – a marriage of love.

From true modern-day tragic love stories such as Abdullatif’s to the early tragedy romance tales such as William Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, we have learned love can end in despair and devastation. But of course, love has also lead to many happily-ever-afters. In today’s world, one that is more globalised and thus accessible than ever with countless opportunities for study, work and travel abroad. It’s no surprise that the number of couples entering intercultural relationships has increased in recent years. 

500 Words Magazine interviews some Sudanese men and women in intercultural relationships or marriages to tell us about the good and the bad, and most importantly, about how love brought them together beyond borders and other boundaries.

Hussein and Salma

Another interracial married couple residing in Qatar is 37-year-old Lebanese store manager Hussein Ahmed Mahdi and his 33-year-old Sudanese wife Salma Al Haj Ali. The couple first met in 2005. Hussein, who works in fashion retail, specifically in the renowned Spanish fast fashion retailer, Zara, first laid eyes on Salma when she visited the shop. 'I was working in the Mango, bringing the integration from Mango to Zara as we had one tailor for both shops. He asked a mutual friend about me and sent her to me in order to ask if me if he can talk to me. At that time, I was not thinking of going into any relationship. But also as he’s Lebanese, I asked my friend to tell him that I’m not interested. He still insisted to talk to me so we met at Starbucks for coffee. Until I met him, I didn’t know what he looked like,' said Salma. Two years later, the couple married in Qatar in November 2007. 'Everything went perfectly. His friends took care of the Lebanese music. My sister was the coordinator between two sides. Everyone participated. Even without asking them, they started dancing to both music. Nothing was planned at all,' said Salma.

Prior to getting married, the couple had to deal with many stereotypes and challenges. 'Everybody thinks that Lebanese men are very open-minded and have no limits like I can do whatever I want without any difficulties but it’s really not like that. Men are all the same when they fall in love. They feel jealous and they care so much,' she said. The marriage caused tension amongst family members. 'A lot of people rejected it. My father was fine but my mother was very worried because it's a completely different country. She can't ask about him, his manners, his family, their reputation and whether they're good people or not. They couldn't find out about these things. My uncles refused the marriage and told my father, "How can you give your daughter away like that?" Some of my uncles cut us off. One of my uncles cut my mother and I off for many years. We only reconnected when he came to Qatar and met us. My eldest child was four years old by then,' said Salma.

'Because we really love each other, we made our own culture at home by respect each other’s families and we participate in all their occasions even if we’re not interested. Our families are really understanding and they want us happy that’s why we didn’t go through any challenges,' explained Salma. Today, the couple continue to be happy together with two daughters, Lynn (7) and Laila (9). 'Our advise is wherever you’re coming from just remember marriage is forever, and a relationship between you and your families. With respect and love, your life will be happy and easy,' she said.

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