Love Beyond Borders

Each year on 14 February, the world celebrates love. Although Valentine’s Day is one of the most celebrated holiday in the world, it’s not a public holiday anywhere. However, millions of people exchange cards, candy, gifts or flowers with their special ‘valentine’.

What many people do not know is the day of romance we call Valentine’s Day (Saint Valentine’s Day or the Feast of Saint Valentine) originates from Christianity, specifically from ancient Rome. The Catholic Church recognises at least two different saints named Valentine or Valentinus, both of whom were martyred. Their martyrdom was honoured by the Catholic Church with the celebration of St Valentine’s Day.

One story suggests that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men. Realising the unjust law, Valentine defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine’s actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death. Other stories suggest that Valentine may have been killed for attempting to help Christians escape harsh Roman prisons, where they were often beaten and tortured.

Ironically, most of the stories about the history of Valentine’s Day are dark. Well, love can be tragic. In July 2018, Sudanese social media users were in distress when news broke out on social media of the death of Qatar-based Sudanese bodybuilder and bodybuilding champion Mohammed Abdullatif, who was also known as Mohammed Koroghly. At first, rumours spread claiming he lost his life in a car accident. Sooner after, the truth surfaced with his immediate family members claiming he was allegedly killed by his brother-in-law by a gunshot wound to the chest. However, due to the lack of media coverage, the details are still unknown. However, Abdullatif’s family believed he was reportedly killed because his brother-in-law was unhappy with the marriage – Abdulatif, a Sudanese man married to a Qatari woman – a marriage of love.

From true modern-day tragic love stories such as Abdullatif’s to the early tragedy romance tales such as William Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, we have learned love can end in despair and devastation. But of course, love has also lead to many happily-ever-afters. In today’s world, one that is more globalised and thus accessible than ever with countless opportunities for study, work and travel abroad. It’s no surprise that the number of couples entering intercultural relationships has increased in recent years. 

500 Words Magazine interviews some Sudanese men and women in intercultural relationships or marriages to tell us about the good and the bad, and most importantly, about how love brought them together beyond borders and other boundaries.

*Khalid and Fabian (This couple chooses to remain anonymous)

In Dubai, UAE lives Khalid, a 31-year-old Sudanese-Canadian digital marketing specialist. For over a year now, Khalid has been in a relationship with 30-year-old Polish project manager, Fabian. 'Fabian and I met when our companies were sponsoring a business development conference. We worked together throughout the conference and in a few other projects. We have been together for a year and three months now,' said Khalid. 'Being an interracial couple is actually fun as we get to explore each other's cultures and try out and learn new things. Living in a cosmopolitan city makes it difficult to notice the difference as we are both far from home and almost everyone in Dubai lives the same lifestyle,' he said. When it came to making it official, and meeting family and friends as a couple, it wasn't as difficult as expected. 'My family sort of gets that we are together but no one ever brought it up for it being such a taboo. It is clear that I have no interest in females by now. His family knows and is fine with it. Some of my friendships ended when I hinted that there is something a little more than friendship going on between Fabian and I but the rest of both our friends are happy for us,' he said. To other intercultural couples, Khalid says, 'Make the effort and get to know the partner's culture and respect it and introduce them to your culture, it gives a sense of intimacy and care. It is also hilarious seeing their facial expressions when they try dishes from your cuisine for the first time.'

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