Love Beyond Borders

Each year on 14 February, the world celebrates love. Although Valentine’s Day is one of the most celebrated holiday in the world, it’s not a public holiday anywhere. However, millions of people exchange cards, candy, gifts or flowers with their special ‘valentine’.

What many people do not know is the day of romance we call Valentine’s Day (Saint Valentine’s Day or the Feast of Saint Valentine) originates from Christianity, specifically from ancient Rome. The Catholic Church recognises at least two different saints named Valentine or Valentinus, both of whom were martyred. Their martyrdom was honoured by the Catholic Church with the celebration of St Valentine’s Day.

One story suggests that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men. Realising the unjust law, Valentine defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine’s actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death. Other stories suggest that Valentine may have been killed for attempting to help Christians escape harsh Roman prisons, where they were often beaten and tortured.

Ironically, most of the stories about the history of Valentine’s Day are dark. Well, love can be tragic. In July 2018, Sudanese social media users were in distress when news broke out on social media of the death of Qatar-based Sudanese bodybuilder and bodybuilding champion Mohammed Abdullatif, who was also known as Mohammed Koroghly. At first, rumours spread claiming he lost his life in a car accident. Sooner after, the truth surfaced with his immediate family members claiming he was allegedly killed by his brother-in-law by a gunshot wound to the chest. However, due to the lack of media coverage, the details are still unknown. However, Abdullatif’s family believed he was reportedly killed because his brother-in-law was unhappy with the marriage – Abdulatif, a Sudanese man married to a Qatari woman – a marriage of love.

From true modern-day tragic love stories such as Abdullatif’s to the early tragedy romance tales such as William Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, we have learned love can end in despair and devastation. But of course, love has also lead to many happily-ever-afters. In today’s world, one that is more globalised and thus accessible than ever with countless opportunities for study, work and travel abroad. It’s no surprise that the number of couples entering intercultural relationships has increased in recent years. 

500 Words Magazine interviews some Sudanese men and women in intercultural relationships or marriages to tell us about the good and the bad, and most importantly, about how love brought them together beyond borders and other boundaries.

*Salma and Amy (This couple chooses to remain anonymous)

In Chester, England lives 30-year-old Sudanese-British oncologist, Salma. Since 2015, Salma has been in a relationship with 32-year-old English paediatrician, Amy. 'We met a little less than 5 years ago when I joined the hospital we both currently work at. I did my rotation in her department and we then developed a friendship. We started dating at the end of 2015 but it became a serious relationship on 16-3-2016. We hung out a lot at work, we made mutual friends and it got off from there,' said Salma. The intercultural couple has barely faced any challenges due to their different cultural backgrounds. 'Being born and raised in England made it very easy for me to understand Amy's background, it was sort of mine as well. She really likes Sudan's cultural variety and has been there twice on vacations. She loves our cuisine (not my cooking, of course). She even knows a few lyrics to some Sudanese songs,' said Salma. 'We barely faced any issues due to our cultural differences. only issue was not being able to bring up our relationship around my family or 'openly' in Sudan. My family knows her as a dear friend but they would not be okay with me being a part of a homosexual relationship. Even though they are not very religious, they would not understand me having feelings for someone of the same gender. Her family, on the other hand, knows of our relationship and are very supportive and loving, and so are our friends. I thought it would be tough sharing my preferences with my Sudanese friends or those who live in Sudan but I was surprised to see how supportive, understanding and mature they were about it, even though our generation is not as open and comfortable as the newer generations,' she explained. To other couples, Salma says, 'an advice I would give out would be to not let anything get in the way of love. A soulmate could be from any country, any background and any gender. Don't let the differences scare you away. Embrace them, celebrate them and learn to accept them. They make things a lot more interesting!'

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