RANDOM RANTS | Hot-dogs: the new standard of luxury

Protests in Sudan (Photo by Maggie Micheal, source: www.bnd.com)

Sometimes when I think about the situation of the Sudanese citizens I get the feeling that we are the Strongest nation on this planet. We definitely have the highest tolerance, the most extreme patience levels and we can survive any condition whatsoever. Salaries to living expenses in Sudan is like Barcelona to El-Ahli Atbara (a football club in Sudan) in football. On top of that you get heat, poverty, war, corruption, floods and recently, sudden increases in fuel prices. Harsh conditions, even Silvester Stallone wouldn’t survive this, he would say “Wai“.

But according to our government, Sudanese people only complain because they are too used to the luxurious life provided by the current regime since they started ruling the country in 1989. Maybe they have a point; I mean, when people’s houses were destroyed by floods, the government said on media outlets that it’s the people’s fault for building their houses out of mud. They almost said “Yakhi if you can’t swim don’t build your house from mud. Next time build a mansion.” From a foreigner’s point of view, statements like these give the impression that an average Sudanese will come out of his Jacuzzi in the morning and dictate his wants and needs to the help.

On the other hand how can people dare protest and get involved in “disturbing” riots about the increase in the petroleum products, fall in the currency and the collapse of the economy? Didn’t the government save us from our doom and provide us with enough Pizza and Hot-dog sandwiches? According to Mr.President, no one even knew what these “luxuries” were before they introduced us to them. Regardless of the fact that the same president recently said he didn’t know what a “hot-dog” was, and I think 89.1% of the nation also don’t know what it is or don’t even want or need to know it. I think we should still be thankful to this current regime because in almost 25 years of ruling, we can at least say we are almost developed, we almost achieved nuclear power, we finally achieved Hot-dogs.

In fact, I suggest that hot-dogs be the standard for luxury, if you want to measure the economic status of a country, leave money and gold, we should measure it by how many hot dogs they have and how many hot dog serving restaurants are in business. In Forbes Magazine, who cares about billionaires, we need a list of top hot-dog eaters, top of the list will probably be a Sudanese. Ata Al Mannan Mahmoud from Al Managil, this guy eats 7 hot-dog sandwiches per day. In fancy hotels, you’d have the normal rooms, double rooms, you can get the Royal suite and then if you are really rich you can get the Hot-dog suite, which is a Royal suite with Hot-dogs served.

Dear Sudanese people, pack and go. They say the Maldives is a beautiful place.