RANDOM RANTS | Why breakfast should be banned in Sudan

Typical Sudanese breakfast (Photo: www.binscorner.com)

Sudan, or the “Severely Under Developed African Nation”, is an accumulation of a lot of annoying things that just gather and cause mental and physical problems to people who live in it, near it and even far from it. In a recent research that I “didnt” do and I named it “the relationship between breakfast with mental damage, heart attacks and underdevelopment in Sudan” I found out that if breakfast was removed from the Sudanese table everyone will do his job and Sudan will be developed within 15 days.

Well, we know breakfast but what is ‘breakslow’? This is what happens in Sudan when you are walking with any papers, documents or any certifications to sign, when you are in a bank or a travel agency, if you want to renew your passport or sometimes even if you want to buy a can of coke. You come from the early morning and you stand in long boring back-breaking queues and after 25 minutes of standing you get sent to another one. You stand another 25 minutes there and when you get there they tell you to get a thing with a new name each and every time tasdeeg, damgha, or kholo taraf; when you go do that and come back you find out that no one is there. Where are they? Well ‘they went for breakfast’.

This is a big fat lie. Yes they went out, yes there is food involved; but this is not breakfast, this is ‘breakslow’, the point is to have a long break from work. I personally don’t mind people having breaks but the question is why? Why would a person want to have a break at 11am while he woke up at 8, reached work at 9:05 and didn’t actually start working until 9:30. Why is breakfast at 11 or 12 anyways? Breakfast should be an early meal in the morning. Why is there no specific time and duration for breakfast? They went for breakfast means they might come back and they might not come at all. Why do they think that the word Fatoor (breakfast) is the red line and the end of discussion, so when you ask an employee where are you going or where have you been they give you the ‘you want to deprive me from my human and civil rights’ face or the ‘are you stupid? I’m hungry, I need to eat’ face.

Sometimes you get this feeling that you need to start a fist fight but usually most people want to finish what they came for so they just settle with a thought of. I hope your stomach hurts, or I hope the food sticks in your throat most commonly accompanied by a ‘damn you’ phrase.

The point is NO it’s not your right to go and eat breakfast and then sit for 15 minutes with the tea lady during working hours, it’s not written in the job description, you are getting paid to do your job. Frankly, it’s not my fault your wife didn’t feed you before you come to the office this morning, so dear Sudanese employee, please don’t punish me for that.