23 February 2018

Random Rants | Double Trouble

(Credit: Omer Alkhawad)

(Credit: Omer Alkhawad)

Growing up as a kid in a Sudanese family is always a risky endeavor, both for parents and for the children. It’s a battle, a survival of the fittest. I highly recommend that everyone avoid growing up as a kid in a Sudanese family, and avoid having one of these dangerous little Sudanese species unleashed around the house.

First of all, Sudanese kids are really out of control. They develop some sort of mandatory freedom for themselves. They do whatever they want, accept the punishment, and do the same thing again. I’ve lived in China for a while now and thank God it is on the opposite side of the world, because if I was a Chinese parent I would definitely advise my children to stay away from Sudanese kids; no offense, but the two have nothing in common. Chinese kids are either reading a book, playing angry birds, eating noodles or simply just walking around happily. They sleep early and wake up early for school and they study hard. You can see the bright future in their faces. Even the dumb ones are cute, if they don’t benefit, they won’t harm.

On the other hand, try to have a closer look at the daily life of a Sudanese boy between the ages of 6 to 16, you will find it full of action, drama, tragedy and sometimes horror. This is not always the case of course. The Sudanese kid only wakes up in the morning by a Nahra (shout) and / or a painful Shalloot (kick) from his mother. Goes to school and comes back with a black eye from the fight he had with the kid from the other class, throws his books on the floor and runs back out for the local football game with the other kids in the neighborhood, then comes back full of dirt and his pants ripped for the second time in one week.

Despite the difference in cultural concepts and the difference in terminologies used, whether it’s called child abuse or discipline, Sudanese children are much more evolved and have a higher tolerance to all kinds of physical and mental beatings than other kids around the world. They must get a daily beating from their father either because they refuse to do their homework, refuse to have a shower, break another plate, annoy their grandmother, or even just as a prophetic beating for crime that didn’t happen yet but the kid either thought of doing it and almost did it, or most probably will do it in the future. In fact, some Sudanese kids might even develop Stockholm syndrome; they might not be able to sleep peacefully at night if they don’t get some of their special abusive love from the parents. They might go ask for a bed-time belt whip to ensure a good night sleep.

Finally I would like to declare that I am totally against child abuse, but being African and particularly Sudanese, I highly advise having a good leather belt around the house just in case there is some discipline needed. It’s a dangerous world out there, if you don’t eat the kids for lunch they will eat you for dinner.

6 Comments on this post.

Leave a Reply to whoisthisguy Cancel reply

  • whoisthisguy
    2 February 2015 at 2:51 pm - Reply

    confusing. So you mean they aren’t wrong for beating their kids but you are against child abuse? Huh? Then you advise people to ‘eat’ their kids for lunch’?
    and not cool about China. Dumb kids? Really? That statement alone is off putting and quite generalized wouldn’t you say. Who said all Sudanese kids are like that? Where did you grow up? Way to tear down millions of hard working parents.

  • Notcool
    3 February 2015 at 9:48 am - Reply

    whoisthisguy I couldn’t agree more. Where did you grow up??? FYI, Stockholm’s syndrome is about kidnapped kids and about having affectionate feelings towards your abusive captor. So, really? A Sudanese parent is now equal to an abusive criminal??? How about showing the other side of Sudanese parenting, the sacrifices, the stay-at-home moms, the refusal of bringing in nannies, the selflessness…. How about a little data and some statistics instead?

    • whoisthisguy
      4 February 2015 at 2:13 am - Reply

      Hello there Notcool. You make an excellent point. Although this section is labeled random rants, that doesn’t mean content should resemble something from Live Journal. Some thoughts should not be expressed. The article makes some bold statements that I found very offensive. I wholeheartedly agree with what you said about sticking to numbers and painting a real picture of what most Sudanese parents AND children go through. They should be commended and not ridiculed. The writer made a failed attempt at humour, but I ain’t laughing.
      Funnily enough, I was born and raised in Sudan. Which seems impossible according to the writer’s definition of Sudanese kids (who he/she so irrationally lumped in one big group)since I never came home with a black eye to my abusive, voice-raising parents.
      There’s so many things to pick out that are terribly wrong and seemingly ignorant here..but that’ll do.

  • Haris Khan
    9 June 2015 at 11:32 am - Reply

    Yasir, your articles are great. Sometimes they are close to fictional world and that’s a good thing about them as I am a fiction lover. I’d like to appreciate your writing style. How and where do you get these all ideas from?

  • dumbwitbuster
    6 July 2015 at 4:47 pm - Reply

    Notcool and whoisthisguy, seriously?? Why don’t you 2 just go and get yourselves a life. You don’t seem to see the humour here.
    I suppose you should stop reading this magazine, it really isn’t for you…Maybe a nice Chinese post might make you guys giggle a bit…

  • whoisthisguy
    12 August 2015 at 3:34 pm - Reply

    Buzz off. Some things are just beyond your capabilities dumbwitbuster.. Is that where you get dumb from? Lol just because someone doesn’t agree with something doesn’t mean they should stop the reading the entire publication. Or have you never heard of criticism? Note: The whole magazine is not humourous…other topics are discussed. I reiterate…buzz off

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