Random Rants is a bi-weekly column that focuses on the Sudanese society in a satirical way.
(Image: Hamazasp, Wikimedia Commnons)
Social media is a means to share information, pictures, ideas, and thoughts. It has become an important aspect of people’s modern lives (well…unless you are extremely busy, old, or boring!).
The problem is that the more you use it, the greater the chance you will encounter someone or something that will cause you social media-induced hypertension and force you to lean back, grab your head and wonder, “Why do they do this??,” “Why did I read this??,” or just plain, “What the h***??”!
Here are some people who may fit the description:
We know that there is a like button for everything, but you don’t have to use them all! This is the person who likes everything. He likes you, he likes your post, your comments, your friends’ comments, his own comment, and when everything is already liked…he posts something new and likes that too.
The Selfie King/Queen
Everyone appreciates beauty, but nobody wants to see the same face and same pose every single day. No matter what’s in the background or how many hashtags you stick in the description – it is the SAME FACE. Your face in the morning, your face at work, your face trying out a new lipstick with that side-way pose…It is still your face!
This type of person either puts it as clear as “feeling happy in Kuala Lumpur” to let you know about their amazing trip, or just posts a picture with as many (obvious) subliminal messages as possible, and a simple caption like “morning coffee with my friends”…It sounds casual enough, but you can’t fail to notice the latest iPhone on the corner of the table, a location stamp for a luxurious hotel, and a blurry landmark building back there. Hmm…is that the Eiffel Tower?
The Happy Couple
For some new couples it’s important to document in annoying detail every private (none-of-our-business) thing. I can understand wedding photos, but why should I see your personal waist-grabbing Bangkok honeymoon photos?! These become more annoying after having a baby. We are blessed with a baby photo, baby’s first smile photo, baby’s first poop photo! (Here’s where the Liker comes in handy, by the way.)
We all have that one (“sharing is caring”) friend on social media who gives you an update every time you go online. At some place, bought a new something, Oh, and food photos – this is the type of guy who can’t eat anything without taking photos of the dish from different angles before explaining when, where, what and sometimes why he ate it. This is also the type who will (in a single day) share a love poem, a filthy joke, a piece of religious wisdom, a boring video, and a “feeling injured” photo of his injured foot in the hospital.
Then you can get many other types, like the workout freak with the gym selfie, some drops of water on his forehead and the protein shake in the back; or the Mr. “Everything-is-a-conspiracy” political guy, and so on. Although it is a combination of things that makes up social media, sometimes I really wish there was a button that says “We couldn’t possibly care less”!
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