SUDANESE WEDDINGS: Do the Math

(Source: www.picstopin.com)

In a starving country like Sudan where most wages do not match the cost of living and make it impossible for people to maintain even the most basic standard of living, I find Sudanese families’ unrealistic expectations of wedding ceremonies very strange.

Girls, with all due respect, if your fiancé is earning less than $200 per month, how can you expect him to pay for a wedding that will cost a minimum of $5000? Grab a calculator: 5000 divided by 200 = 25 months = a little more than 2 years. I used to work as a doctor in Sudan, and my monthly salary was a little less than a $100. If I was still working there it would take me more than 4 years to save up that kind of money, and only if I lived in a cave, walked to work every day, hunted birds and small animals for sustenance, drank from the river, built a fire for heat, and never shaved! If we factored in living expenses, I reckon that an average Sudanese employee would need about 5 years to pay for a wedding.

Sadly, reality is even bleaker than these calculations. Since it’s always about competition and ‘the show’, no family would accept a modest wedding for their daughter. “He got married in the most expensive hall, got the best singer, bought the bride’s mother a car and the bride a $7000 sheila! Our daughter deserves a similar or better wedding ceremony!” and before you know it, you’ve bargained with your daughter’s future, lost “Mr. Right”, forcing your daughter to stay home for a couple more years before she realizes that she is getting old and decides to settle for any option available.

Meanwhile, expensive weddings and lack of time bring us back to the same impossible mathematical equation. No family is willing to wait 5 years, so people are still getting married. But how? Easy! Sell the car, work extra time, stop eating 3 meals a day, borrow as much as you can from your friends and family and never pay them back, and buy some cheap antidepressants – you don’t want to waste too much money on drugs!

And why do we have so many functions? Henna, fatoor al’arees, jirtik; why are we weighing ourselves down with all this extra expense? Sorry, grandmothers of Sudan, but these customs are just not feasible anymore. Why invite 1000 people if only 300 of them really care about you and actually want to attend? Why do people have to spend (read: waste) their life savings in one night, leaving them nothing to start their new life with but debt! It’s anti-Islamic. If you have excess money, give it to the poor instead.

I am not saying that people should not get married. I am saying they should sit down and do the math. No need for the 10,000SDG band that sings for all of 2 hours; get a stereo instead, and spend that money on an amazing honeymoon with your love.

Don’t have more money than sense, have more sense than money.